Why love hurts.

As a teenager, love used to hurt my life a lot. To avoid speaking on behalf of everybody else let me just say I did not think I was the only one hurting because I used to see heartbroken fellows which I clearly was not. I had no clue what I wanted in someone. Besides that, I would fall for any girl who gave me any signs without knowing that just like me, they were also clueless about what they wanted in a partner. Our relationships never lasted longer than a month because soon the attraction would fade after meeting somebody new who was more attractive than the one we were already with.

Those who hurt so much were the ones who were believing in being forever with someone who was only sampling them. You see most of the teens had figured that you can’t know if someone has the qualities you want without first experimenting it with them while pretending to be serious with them.

It was like coming into the life of someone as an undercover agent disguised as a lover, spying on the other person’s weaknesses. The main goal was to find out if that person was compatible with you.

The person being spied upon, with all their innocence would open themselves up to their newfound partner believing that they were meant to be together, letting them see all their flaws, their inner self and then once the spy concluded that the unknowing partner was incompatible with them, he or she would end things abruptly.

The reason it hurt so much was because it felt bad giving your body to someone that was only abusing it. It made people feel foolish.

Most have learnt the hard way the reason why sex is supposed to happen after marriage. It is to avoid such heartbreaks. It would never have hurt when they dumped you if you hadn’t had sex with them. Them having sex with you severally then dumping you when you were believing that you would get married to them made you feel abused. That’s the kind of love that hurts. It’s lust.

You may have sex with someone because they have asked for it and you don’t want to turn them down because you love them but understand that that won’t stop them from leaving you if they are done sampling you and they think you’ve lost good taste. It’s better to remain chaste, halt the haste to taste the forbidden fruit until it’s no longer forbidden. That is, once you get married.

When you do that, the samplers will leave you alone, saving you heartaches because certainly only the one who loves you truly will stick around without making you feel like sex is the only thing that can bring two people who love each other together. Not because that person is not good in bed. Not because they aren’t attractive or don’t feel the urge to have it all at once but because they have those virtues called patience and self control that make people know that whatever fools are eager to break the rules for is something they will be getting for free and in plenty when it’s time is due. These are people who have the discipline to let the process happen gradually without wanting to force a quick outcome because they don’t settle for just sex.

It’s more than just sex. It Should be intimate and passionate. It should cause a spiritual bond not just the physical. If it’s love it won’t happen overnight. That’s why most people are hurting because they couldn’t wait that long to have sex. Love is kind. Love is strong. Love is understanding. Love doesn’t hurt. Love is patient. Those who claim to have been hurt by love don’t know what love is. They think lust is love. Love doesn’t need sex to back it up.

Teens of today, learn from us teens of yesterday that having sex before marriage is the reason why love hurts because love is not actually what you think it is. Most of us teens of yesterday are stuck in our ways. Some of us have decided to lie to ourselves that it’s meant to be this way because it has become impossible for us to fix what was broken and we’ve decided to work with it, as broken as it is. It has become hard for us to find true love because we messed it up as teens in the name of sampling.

Now it has become hard to escape from being just ‘samplers’ such that some of us teens of yesterday have decided to embrace it by having sex with different strangers at strange places everyday but deep down we feel helpless. Teens of today, you do no have to break it now because you might need to fix it later on only to find out that you cannot. Just wait for your moment. Don’t try to make it happen by your might. The right time will come.

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